Three years ago on July 27th, 2008, Mark Fracasso died in an accident. Mark was a Gator swimmer, a tennis player on the MVP team, a lifeguard, and a pool rat who spent many hours at the Park that is our second home in the summer. His youngest sister, Anna, is on the Gators,his mom, Michele, is our Chief Marshal (wearing the orange vest), his dad is a former Park President, his brother a former Gator, and his sister is an assistant park manager again this summer. This is an article written on July 28, 2008 for the Gator website, with comments from other MVPers, about Mark, and has run each year since. We continue to hold the Fracasso family in our hearts and minds.
Your first reaction upon hearing the news is as though someone punched you in the gut. Then there is the hopeful thought -- well, maybe that information is not quite right and there is some hope. But then, when it becomes clear that the news about Mark Fracasso is the worst possible, you are stunned into shock and tears.
For some people the tears are deep and heaving. For others, it's more of the glistening eyes (that's more for us "tough" guys).
A young life extinguished because of a split second. There was no alcohol, no drugs. Just bad luck. The worst. The "what ifs" aren't worth it. We're not Superman -- we can't make the Earth spin backs to change time.
I know what you are thinking. I'm thinking it too. No parent should have to bury their son or daughter. This isn't fair, and this isn't how life is supposed to be. Especially for a 15 year old boy who was it in for the fun. Now, I can't say I knew Mark well -- that's not the case. But I do know two things about him.
The first thing I knew about him is that I noticed that he had this sly grin on his face every time he was on the pool deck with the race about to start. It's like he knew -- "okay, I may not be the fastest, but I'm here for fun." Mark always struck me as having a smile on his face -- which is the sign of a happy, positive attitude about life. Which, after all, is the only one to have. . .but's it's also okay -- even important -- to have an interregnum for a mourning period like this.
The other thing I know about Mark is that we all feel for his parents. I'm a much better man for the years I've spent raising children. Every parent reading this knows that what they are going through is the single biggest fear that a parent can have -- and for one of our community, that fear has been realized in the worst possible way. Mark and Michele will never have the satisfaction of watching Mark grow into adulthood -- which has its own set of challenges, responsibilities, and thrills.
Life is precious. Life doesn't have to always be fun, doesn't always have to be an adventure. But, there is beauty in the everyday. Sunday morning, unaware that Mark was fighting for life, Tom Hickok and I were watching the kids rise from their chaise lounges at the sleepover, groggy after just a few hours of sleep. Tom, nursing a cup of coffee, turned to me with a simple declarative sentence that made me appreciate the day even more -- "MVP really is a special place." He had just spent the night on the ground with just a sleeping bag and no tent, and yet he was appreciating the life we are living.
Kids -- when your parents hug you a little bit tighter and a little bit long, please let them.
A few years ago, a song came out by Kenny Chesney about the pain of losing someone young in your life. Sometimes song lyrics can be over the top, but this one hits the emotion that Michele and Mark, and their children Ali, Matthew, and Anna, will always have:
Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
I feel you everywhere I go.
I see your smile, I see your face,
I hear you laughin' in the rain.
I still can't believe you're gone.
It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell that I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder,
Who'd you be today?
Would you see the world? Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family,
I wonder what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue,
I feel like I can talk to you,
An' I know it might sound crazy.
It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell that I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder,
Who you'd be today?
Again, kids -- when your parents hug you a little bit tighter and a little bit long, please let them. Parents, when you see Mark and Michele, it's okay to hug them. Life isn't simple, but it is precious.
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Recently while I have not been as involved as in the past, I have never forgotten the great sense of village we have here at our special place quietly tucked a short distance from another world. You and many others have continued to allow our kids to grow up and develop in this somewhat protected world.
In most respects Michele and I are very blessed. Mark on that fateful day unfortunately was not so lucky.
So last evening, when you chose to write about Mark we both were so very touched and grateful at your willingness to use your talent to help us, that is all of us, begin the long healing process. Providing this forum and the vigil tonight will go a long way to allow us all to join again together as a village to celebrate life Mark s life.
And so in closing, we so want to thank you and let you know from our hearts that while perhaps you did not know Mark as we his parents, you really do know Mark and have captured his spirit in your article.
Tonight we will come together in our special place and I ll be looking for my hug. Thank you and we both also want to thank the Mount Vernon community.
Mark& Michele
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I would just like to say I am soooo sorry for the Fracasso's loss. Words can not describe the heaviness that we all feel for them. They will be in our prayers!!
Love, Teresa, Bill, Kate and Natalie
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The Laporta family is deeply saddened by the Fracasso's tragic loss. As part of our amazing Gator family, Mark was wonderful to Peter over the years and will be desperately missed. The Fracasso's are in our prayers.
Cindy
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Perhaps readers will be comforted by this excerpt of a message sent to St Mary s altar boys by Fr John DeCelles, the priest who administered the sacrament of the sick to Mark early Sunday morning:
Death is a very difficult thing to bear, especially the death of someone we know, or are close to. Particularly the death of a young person so filled with hope and great prospects as Mark was. But as the funeral ritual says: for those who love the Lord, life is changed, not ended. This is what our faith comes down to: life on earth is great, but the love of God and the joy of heaven are what we re made ultimately for. Mark s death should remind us all that God calls us home when He chooses, not when we choose. We need to be ready when he calls not afraid, because God loves us, but ready. We need to live everyday with our eyes on heaven again not with fear but filled with hope and joy, trying to be the very best we can everyday so we can love each other here and live forever in perfect happiness with God, and with each other, in heaven.
Mary
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(This) tribute is a beautiful reflection of someone I have loved for many years and watched grow in so many different ways. His smile is a signature that I too often cannot help recalling when I think of him. I will treasure it always.
Thank you-Jean
**************If we are lucky in life, we get to meet someone like Mark Fracasso, Jr. at least once. A young boy with a free spirit and a twinkle in his eye. Full of energy, quizzing the world about its limits, challenging the competitive edge with a smile. We look at these boys with marvel, because we instinctively know we are watching a leader prepare for a purpose that we have yet to understand.
We often think that leadership will be demonstrated later in life, in those adult years when we assume the world needs it. But sometimes, these free spirits are only here for a short time, a blink of time in God's eye. They are here to teach us how to live each day with joy in our own hearts. Much like a bright star in the sky, we wonder at the sparkle, and are awed and forever grateful for the opportunity to see it shine. We are all blessed to have that brief moment with Mark Fracasso, Jr.
The Bourne Family wishes to express our love and prayers to the Fracasso Family. Thank you for letting Mark shine.
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On Sunday morning I was going about my usual business here in Salisbury
and I received a phone call from my dad. When he told he had some bad
news I was thinking, maybe we aren t going to the outer banks anymore ,
never in a million years did I think I was going to hear what I heard.
He told me the news about Mark being in the hospital and I had to sit
down. I was in shock. For the next two hours I walked around in a daze.
I kept hoping that the news wasn t true, and if the news was true, I
kept praying that everything would be alright. I was dreading that final
phone call with the worst possible news.
Mark Fracasso and my brother were good friends and partners in
crime every summer at Mount Vernon Park. I can t even count how many
times I would hear my brother say can we go pick up Mark? , and for the
rest of that day I d be keeping tabs on the two boys making sure they
didn t get into too much trouble. It was like every summer I gained a
new little brother. Hearing that my own brother was devastated by the
loss of his friend, who he had just hung out with two days before, and
that he was planning to ask Mark to spend a week in the Outer Banks with
us the next time he saw him, made me twist and turn inside.
It is unreal that a life can be lost so young. To think of the
other Fracasso children and Marks friends who are dealing with the loss
at such a young age is an experience no child should have to go through.
Only being twenty, I am not a parent myself, but I am old enough to know
that the loss of a child is one of, if not the most, heartbreaking
things a parent would ever have to experience. You read things like this
in the paper but you never think it will hit this close to home. Of all
families this had to happen to it hurts that it was the Fracasso family.
When a tragedy like this happens, one can t help but wonder,
Why him, he s so young? For those of us that believe in Karma and
that everything happens for a reason , it makes you wonder, Well, what
exactly is the reason for this? As much as we would all like to know
the answer to these questions it s something we will never know. The
only thing we can do is try our best to be there for each other and try
to help younger members of the community understand what happened. The
Gator family has lost more than a swimmer, but a brother, son and friend
who is irreplaceable.
Ryann Doyle
*******************It was the most wonderful day. A hot, bright high summer afternoon. Many Gator families present and congenial, some working the divisional championship meet, some taking a rare day off. Everyone enjoying the great competition provided by a slippery pool and well trained swimmers intent on posting their best times. And then, after a fabulous meet, spilling back into our very own elysian fields to honor those who worked hard and swam fast. Every year I enjoy the awards banquet so much I start feeling wistful even before it ends.
This year, as I looked out at the tree canopy line turning dark after sunset, I felt even stronger. This really was the most wonderful day, the best year for our team. So many good swimmers. So many good kids. So many new swimmers, and with them great families, new friends. A large group of parents who are now so used to working together, we re like an old married couple. (like an old married couple?) Just like the machine of a family that can get Thanksgiving dinner for 20 on the table with aplomb on Monday nights and Saturday mornings we set up a meet, put on the meet, serve a meal for dozens, break it all down into neat folded parcels and plastic storage containers and still manage a few jokes and good camaraderie before heading home. Heck, we even won the Miss Congeniality award from our fellow Division 6 teams! As I sat there with children prancing around me I thought we are all, collectively, doing something right by our kids.
Saturday was the most wonderful day. Except we now know it really wasn t. At the same time I was looking at the treeline turn dark, Mark Fracasso - one of our most precious our children! - was slipping away and through the grace of those who knew, we were able to sit with our warm and happy thoughts through the night, even though the most unthinkable thing was happening. Those who knew, allowed those of us who didn t, to fully inhale the beauty of a summer night, becoming fortified maybe for what we would discover the next day.
Here s what I know: the Fracasso family is an amazing family. I don t know every member of their family, but I know Michele, and she is part of that collective married couple that we have become at Mount Vernon Park, she is strong, she is a calm and mirthful tour de force. Michele is a person you can count on. And for Michele, and Mark, Ali, Matthew and Anna we have counted on you, and now you can count on us. Even on what appears to be the most beautiful day, the stirring of tragedy will build and erupt. And conversely on the most awful days, the most awful days like today, the beginnings of hope can, well, at least begin.
My hope is that we, along with the many other friends, schoolmates and family members of the Fracasso family, can knit ourselves into a security blanket to help them through the times to come.
Lisa Guide
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Hi I am Peter, a good friend of Mark, and I saw that we could share good times evern humorous times with Mark. This was the first that came to my mind right away:
It was after school and Mark, Richard Pastorino, and myself went to seven eleven and went into the store. Richard had got a drink but decided he didn't want it so he put it back. The people that worked at the store had noticed that Richard took the drink but never saw him put it back. So while we walk out of the store the workers had approached us 3 saying that we hid the drink and stole it. They searched the 3 of us but when Mark got searched he "made sure" they knew he had not stolen anything. Mark freely and comfortably starts stripping his shirt, yelling" Do you believe me now" then the people agreed with MArk. But of course Mark would not ended just like that, he had to make sure he left his "MARK" at 7/11. He started taking his pants of and stripped himself down to just his boxers. Everyonne even the workers were laughing so hard and Mark was happy because he made a point and was still able to make people laugh like he always did. I Loved Mark. He was a great person and a great friend. R.I.P.
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I Am Waiting for You
Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play; smile; think of me, pray for me. Let my name be the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without effort
Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was; there is absolutely unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of your mind because I am out of your sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near around the corner.
All is well. Nothing is past; nothing is lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before only better, infinitely happier and forever we will all be one with Christ in heaven.
Matt O'Brien
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We are so sad and sorry to hear about Mark's death. The Fracasso family will be in our thoughts and prayers in the difficult days and weeks to come.
Teresa, Scott, Andrew, Jessica, and Matthew Taylor
